The Seven Chaos Gremlins
You are so lucky. I am far too tired to upload any more images
If you're a weirdo who wants to see even more my pets, I guess check back later?
Abra
Abra is a tripod demon wrapped in cute calico colors. She timed her manifestation on earth to coincide with her favorite human's birthday. Don't be fooled by the missing arm, she can still maul you just like she destroyed that bear. If you get too close to her Daddy she will plot your gruesome demise. Her only known weakness is steak—if you have some hidden on you, you might just be able to distract her while you run.
Ashley
Ashley is the ultimate diva that thinks she owns the house. Having grown up binging RuPaul, she firmly identifies as the prettiest lizard in the world. She loves looking in the mirror and posing for pictures. She suffers from attachment issues and will claim items like that one group in The Walking Dead. Unfortunately, she's cute enough that you willingly give up your items. Her OTP is her "Bear Bear" with her Bob Ross bobblehead coming in a close second.
Cazwell
Cazwell comes from an epic litter, having a literal cyclops born with her. While she didn't end up with only one eye, she did end up with a stubby curved tail and stunted growth. She stopped growing around 6 months old, earning her the name "Little One" - a name that her fully adult, deeply RBF completely hates. Cazwell has chosen the profession of reptile care. She spends most of her days babysitting her beardies. She takes this job so seriously that if one escapes she will alert the humans and show them exactly where the fugitive is.
Elliot
Elliot is my citrus boy who has turned weaponized pity into an art form. He showed up as a critical rescue with MBD, a badly set broken tail, and a lot of determination. He uses this medical history to run long-cons on all those around him. He has successfully convinced Mommy and Momma-Laura that he is "sooooo weak" he needs to be hand fed. This is a LIE. Elliot is a high-speed slitherer who loves his dino stuffie and drowning himself in the bath.
Panik!
Panik! thinks he is in charge of household messes, even if it makes it harder on Mommy. Driven by his OCD he feels the need to clean up any poo Cazwell leaves around, any puke, and if he could - dragon poo. He will hunt down dirty laundry to ensure the crime scene is fully contained. He will also put dirty laundry in the litter box if someone else is too stinky. His OCD is so bad that he taught himself to pee in the human toilet to avoid the box (he hasn't learned the poop part yet). He holds the family world record for escaping on the way out of the vet's office and being missing for over 60 days. He crossed a 5 lane busy street and possibly lived off of Long John Silvers.
Skynd
Skynd is a hypo girl who grew up watching American Ninja Warrior and it shows. She rejects gravity and established barriers to escape and snuggle her Daddy. She suffers from multiple species disorder. Sometimes she is a cat that wants to free roam the house, other times she is a parrot living on Daddy's shoulder. She is rarely a bearded dragon and hates the sun and most heat lamps (though that's probably the hypo in her). Her only passion in life is eating, specifically fruit. She attacks grapes and berries in such a primal unhinged manner that she often needs a bath after.
Token
Token could teach a class in avoidance. Despite Mommy ironically putting his birthday on Hug Your Cat Day, he has spent all his life aggressively avoiding affection. Only Mommy has the privilege of cuddles. To the rest of the world he may as well be a ghost, if you happen to catch a glimpse consider yourself blessed by the mythical cat gods. The rare exceptions to his stealth are if Daddy is eating duck wings, or if MeMa opens a can (literally any can - it's not like he can tell the difference and she always sneaks him wet food).